I am happy. I love this silly baby and have the best family I could possibly ask for.
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Monthly Archives: May 2013
Trip to Denver, Day 4
Today, Monster Hands met her cousins for the first time.
These two are just a couple of months apart in age.
Posted in Uncategorized
Trip to Denver, Day 2
Feeling lonely? Take an infant to a festive dinner at a retirement community!
Overheard at table of retirees after we walked by with Kehdrin:
Woman: “I’m not going to have any more grand babies to bounce.”
Man: “Really? Why not?”
Woman: “The youngest one’s eleven.”
Man: “She doesn’t bounce?”
Woman: “No.”
(Two minutes later)
Woman: “I can bounce a grandchild on my knees and they’ll go right to sleep.”
Man: “The eleven year old?”
Woman: “What? No!”
Posted in Uncategorized
Trip to Denver, Day 1
For the next few days we will be
visiting Papa Bird’s Great Grandma at her home in Denver. The whole family is here — Grandma Tuba, Grandpa Piano, Auntie Music, Antenna, and many more.
Posted in Antenna, Auntie Music, Denver, Grandma Tuba, Grandpa Piano, Great Grandma, Monster Hands, Papa Bird, People
Trouble with furniture
I am finally trying to remove the rest of my maternity clothes from my dresser, so I can move my regular clothes back in, but I am making very little headway. Each time I remove a stack of clothing, the space is filled by a cat. Furthermore, each time I remove a cat, it is replaced with another cat.
I find I am juggling cats, horizontally, in slow motion.
Posted in House and grounds, Places
Adventure in the park
Today, 6:30 pm:
In which I and the Slavering Beast walk to the park, are threatened by a squirrel, have a multicultural experience, and develop a complex–maybe.
1. With Squirrel:
Squirrel, glaring: THIS IS MINE.
Me: “Ok, that’s yours. Cool.”
Monster Hands: “OooOOaaahaaooo!”
2. With woman and small girl:
[Woman and small girl, aged 7 or thereabouts, walk over. Woman stands very close to me and pats Monster Hands on the cheek, rather suddenly and with surprising vigor.]
Woman speaks Asian language, Girl translates: “We like your baby!”
Me: “Thank you!”
Woman speaks Asian language, Girl translates: “How old is your baby?”
Me: “Three months.”
Girl: “My baby is one month.”
Me, to both: “You have a one month old baby at home?”
Girl: “Yes, his name is _____”
Me: “Congratulations!”
Monster Hands smiles, Woman laughs, delighted. Woman speaks Asian language.
Girl: “What is his name? Your baby is a boy.”
Me: “Monster Hands. Actually, she’s a girl.”
Girl, suddenly shocked and incredulous: “A girl, but WHY?!”
3. With Older Gentleman:
Gentleman: “Why hello! The baby waved at me!”
Me: “Hello!”
Gentleman: “Are you his Grandmother?”
(etc.)
Posted in Around town, Monster Hands, People, Places, Uncategorized
Shopping for swimsuits
I would love it if it were possible to shop online for swimsuits by entering in one’s personal measurements, and if the images accompanying the results could somehow show what the suit looks like on someone with similar measurements to those entered by the user. Seems like the technology ought to exist.
All the swimsuit models I’m seeing are either Standard Slender or Standard Plus (my categories.) So if you’re of a different body type, the process of searching for something that will both fit and feel wearable in public requires more imagination than I want to invest in shopping.
(End of venting and/or small business suggestion.)
Posted in Uncategorized
Cat recreation
Last night, 2:45 a.m.:
(THUD)
Monster Hands: “…y’fffaaaa? …. whaaahaaaa….”
Me, suddenly awake: “What was that?”
Cats: [Nothing! We mean, ‘what a strange and mysterious thing just happened!’]
Me: “The crib is six inches to the right of where it was before. Why has the crib moved?”
Cats: […]
Me, to cats: “Were you furniture surfing again? In the middle of the night? While the baby was sleeping in the furniture?”
Cats: [What? Hey, look, a moth!]
(SKITTER SKITTER SKITTER THUD)
Me: “You did it again! Running and hurling yourself into furniture!”
Cats: [Who? What? Nothing!]
Tormented by the cat
Last night, 3 a.m.:
Willow, glaring: “Meooow.”
Me: “I just gave you wet food. You threw up. I am not arming you with more wet food–that would be madness. It is the middle of the night. Go to bed.”
Willow, insistent: “Miaaaaaaooooow.”
Me: “I love you, you depraved monster, but if you wake this baby I will recall what a lovely hat you would make.”
Willow, standing under crib: “MIAOOOO-”
I interrupted this loud exclamation by hoisting him into the air and depositing him in the dining room, before shutting the rattly door to the bedroom as quietly… as… possible…
Monster Hands: “E’h… gheeeh? G’hafffff….”
I wept.
Posted in Uncategorized