For the next few days we will be
visiting Papa Bird’s Great Grandma at her home in Denver. The whole family is here — Grandma Tuba, Grandpa Piano, Auntie Music, Antenna, and many more.
Posted in Antenna, Auntie Music, Denver, Grandma Tuba, Grandpa Piano, Great Grandma, Monster Hands, Papa Bird, People
I am finally trying to remove the rest of my maternity clothes from my dresser, so I can move my regular clothes back in, but I am making very little headway. Each time I remove a stack of clothing, the space is filled by a cat. Furthermore, each time I remove a cat, it is replaced with another cat.
I find I am juggling cats, horizontally, in slow motion.
Posted in House and grounds, Places
Today, 6:30 pm:
In which I and the Slavering Beast walk to the park, are threatened by a squirrel, have a multicultural experience, and develop a complex–maybe.
1. With Squirrel:
Squirrel, glaring: THIS IS MINE.
Me: “Ok, that’s yours. Cool.”
Monster Hands: “OooOOaaahaaooo!”
2. With woman and small girl:
[Woman and small girl, aged 7 or thereabouts, walk over. Woman stands very close to me and pats Monster Hands on the cheek, rather suddenly and with surprising vigor.]
Woman speaks Asian language, Girl translates: “We like your baby!”
Me: “Thank you!”
Woman speaks Asian language, Girl translates: “How old is your baby?”
Me: “Three months.”
Girl: “My baby is one month.”
Me, to both: “You have a one month old baby at home?”
Girl: “Yes, his name is _____”
Me: “Congratulations!”
Monster Hands smiles, Woman laughs, delighted. Woman speaks Asian language.
Girl: “What is his name? Your baby is a boy.”
Me: “Monster Hands. Actually, she’s a girl.”
Girl, suddenly shocked and incredulous: “A girl, but WHY?!”
3. With Older Gentleman:
Gentleman: “Why hello! The baby waved at me!”
Me: “Hello!”
Gentleman: “Are you his Grandmother?”
(etc.)
Posted in Around town, Monster Hands, People, Places, Uncategorized
Our favorite musical baby toy appears to be haunted.
Papa Bird suggested this yesterday, when it spontaneously changed songs; now it has turned on when it was across the room from us and not near any cats.
If it isn’t haunted, perhaps the explanation is that the baby has experienced some sort of telepathic growth spurt.
Posted in House and grounds, Monster Hands, Papa Bird, People, Places
Monster Hands and I are out for a walk in the neighborhood. We just passed two little boys, aged 4 or so, playing in a yard.
Boy #1: “Baby!”
Me: “Hi!”
Boy #1: “Is that a real baby?”
Me: “Yep! She’s just wearing a big hat. See?”
At this, I tilted Monster Hands’s sun hat so it fell over her eyes and then perched back on her head.
Boy #1 laughed. Boy #2, made a face that suggested he was wresting with an existential crisis, aimed his empty squirt gun at us, and slowly pulled the trigger.
A few minutes later, we sat down under a tree. Here she is, possibly contemplating our earlier brush with gun violence.
Posted in Around town, Monster Hands, People, Places
A while back, I mentioned that someone had written “I want ur deck” on the window of our station wagon in a scrawl that was somewhat difficult to read. We don’t have a deck, so I was really puzzled.
At the time, various people suggested that the word might have been “duck.” We have poultry, after all. It now seems that the word might actually have been “dick.” We think this on account of the four foot long image of male genitalia we found spray painted on the hood of the same car this morning. There’s another one sprawled across two side windows of our van.
What the heck, vandals? Did we drive through a cloud of pheromones?
Posted in House and grounds, Places
“Musta done something wrong. There’s an inspector going into the work site.”
Grandpa Vehicle and his friend have been over here, helping us trim (ha, what an understatement) the English laurel that is threatening to take over the city starting with our yard and adjacent sidewalk.
The inspector, Porch Cat, is a local freelance feline. A Cat at Large. We think he is “owned” by someone in the neighborhood, but he doesn’t let that stop him from doing what needs to be done.
Posted in Animals, Cats, Grandpa Vehicle, House and grounds, People, Places
This is what it is like to be me. (This view, I mean.)
Posted in Animals, Cats, House and grounds, Pets, Places
We have reached the YouTube portion of the evening, and I am trapped under a baby AND a cat as we view episode after episode of the Lasagna Cat Tributes to John Davis.
At least this one is of professional interest. That’s what I say to console myself. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fPEV9X0vgts
Posted in House and grounds, Places
Phil: “Which end of the baby do you need? I mean which side do you want her on? I know which end of the baby you need for this procedure. Well… I’m not up on all the latest parenting blogs.”
Posted in House and grounds, Monster Hands, Papa Bird, People, Places