Monster Hands thinks making faces is fun. Trying to sit up without assistance is fun. Kicking is fun. Being carried in loops around the diningroom is fun. This is all especially fun in the middle of the night.
You know what else is fun? SLEEPING! I know, let’s *try* it, so we can have an informed discussion based on common experience.
Posted in House and grounds, Monster Hands, People, Places
Guess whose lengthily-gestated, five week old micro-baby has actually outgrown one premie outfit!
Posted in Monster Hands, People
A few months ago, our backyard chicken coop was raided by what we think was a weasel. It had apparently gotten in through a small slit in the chicken wire that otherwise completely covered the top of the coop. All members of our dear flock met a gruesome end, except the appropriately named “Emo.” She we found in the morning, wandering the yard in a daze. To keep her safe until we could rebuild the regular coop, we constructed a temporary coop in the back stairwell and made her into an indoor chicken. She talks to us when we go up and down with the laundry.
You may be interested to know that she is now in the dining room, scaring the cats, thanks to a custom-mase chicken diaper.
I guess if you’re going to keep a chicken indoors, you might as well go in for a penny in for a pound.
It appears that we can capture the police in glass cups as a means to end tyranny. True?
(This flier was pasted to a telephone pole near our doctor’s office.)
Posted in Around town, Places
Yesterday, at 3:31 am, while attempting to heat a cup of water in the dark as I soothed a crying infant, I managed to enable the child lock feature on my beloved microwave and render it completely inoperable. I didn’t even know there was such a thing. This was easily fixed, but not until the following morning when I could actually look up the unlock procedure. No hot water for me until then.
Today, I got up to feed Monster Hands at 2 am and spent a good hour afterward walking in circles through the house, holding her at just the angle she required, until she finally started falling asleep at 3:25. At 3:31, before I could safely put the baby down, the microwave began beeping frantically.
Apparently, when I child locked the microwave 24 hours ago, I also set a “reminder” to commemorate the occasion on its 24 hour anniversary.
Posted in House and grounds, Monster Hands
It has become very clear that our conure, Cricket, did us a real service by screaming so much throughout my pregnancy. Monster Hands can sleep through any house and is completely at ease with all the sounds of our household. We, however, are finding the new palette of sounds in the house a big confusing.
This is an actual exchange between myself and Papa Bird:
“Was that the baby crying?”
“No, that was a cat.”
“Are the cats fighting again?”
“No, that was David Bowie.”
Posted in Monster Hands, People
In February of 2013, following 41 hours of induced labor, a creature we will call Monster Hands was born. This blog begins with her arrival.
At birth, Monster Hands was 5 lbs, 9 oz, and 18.5 inches of screaming glory. She came into the world against her will, having been due on January 26th and shown no signs of coming out on her own.
The world Monster Hands entered contained four grandparents, one great grandparent, two rabbits, one dog, three cats, three chickens, a parrot, and two housemates.
With a librarian for a mother, a mad scientist for a father, and in the basement a mathematician and a wool-spinning hyontherapist, her life was fairly assured to contain interesting things.
Posted in Monster Hands, People